​When you have kids who struggle with school, who are not academically inclined, or who already know precisely what they want to do post-high school and that doesn't require college prep high school thinking, how do you know if you are teaching enough?

We are in our ninth year of homeschooling, and regularly this question comes up even for the college bound homeschooler.  Moms and dads fret and lose sleep over the simple question:

"Am I doing enough?"

So how do you know?  Where is the balance to logically not "over-teaching" versus making certain they are prepared for their future, as well as for possible changes in plans.

You know what?

I think secretly we all know the answer to this one for our own family.  I think sometimes we feel guilty and want others to "let us off the hook" by asking the question and hoping to hear from others that we can slack, or that doing the bare minimum is enough.

I also think (and since this is an opinion piece, I am allowed to opine here all I want! Hahaha!) that we just might be asking the wrong question.

How about instead of asking, "Are we teaching enough?", replacing it with, "Are we teaching what they need?"

Does your trade bound student honestly need 3 full years of in depth Biology, Chemistry and Physics?  Or do they need a solid overview with key concepts taught, and then perhaps replace those sciences with things like Electronics or Computer Repair?  

Does your trade bound student need AP level courses in History or English?  Or might English for The World of Work or a more in depth study of the Industrial Revolution and The History of Manufacturing make more sense for them?

The simple fact is that our trade bound Blue Collar Kids deserve the very best  education we can provide them...but it needs to be relevant, and they need to be ready for the real world they will step into.  That doesn't mean teaching "less" or "more", it means paying closer attention to what we are teaching and keeping it relatable to the future they imagine for themselves.

Here are some key things to think about when you have doubts about teaching your kids "enough":

1)  Everyone needs to write well, trades bound or otherwise.  Are your kids at grade level?  Can they write with ease?  Are their writing mechanics solid and can they formulate more complex sentences.  In other words, if they write a business proposal or response to a customer, will they appear to be reasonably well educated and can they handle all sorts of writing?  They may never need to learn how to cite sources or create bibliographies, but they need to be able to get their ideas across to any audience in writing.

2)  Can your learner read at a true 12th grade level?  Can they interpret more complex writing and do they have a wide vocabulary?  With the average reader today reading no higher than a 7th grade level, I can not emphasize enough how imperative it is to get your child's reading level up to par so they can handle reading contracts, understand insurance policies, and easily read tech manuals.  Unless there is a disability, there is no reason for a child to be unable to read at a 12th grade level, as long as they have been offered progressively harder reading material, and you have worked diligently on vocabulary.  Trades people are not dumb, and they deserve to be able to access any written material they come across, and not be hindered because someone thought their future wouldn't require more than a middle school reading level.

3)  Can they handle Algebra 1?  If not, can they do all basic math functions easily and with fair speed?  Do they know how to use an adding machine and calculator?  Instead of calculus, geometry and trig, have you at the very least presented them with Business Math, taught them how to read a spread sheet, and helped them understand basic accounting and Consumer Math?  Now, keep in mind, that many skilled trades as well as tech and computer related work will require far higher levels of math, so this is an area not to skimp on if a career path isn't certain.  But if your child is not "mathy" and you have taught the other items above, you are doing a great job!

4)  Does your learner have a solid grasp on American History...not just wars, dates and famous people but the overarching themes and recognition of "why" things happened?  Have they studied World History and do they understand key shifts?  Do they know the three branches of US government and can they explain their roles? Do they know the Constitution and Bill of Rights?  Or better yet, would you be embarrassed by their answers if they were stopped on the street and asked questions that were filmed and shared with your friends? Haha!  That one right there may make you rethink "How much is enough?".  Young adults need to have a sense of civic responsibility and an understanding of their country's origins and development.  

5)  Can your student interact well with technology?  Can they share files, download and upload photos, use photo editing software in very basic form, email, be safe from online scams, use word processing software, explain the difference between hardware and software, function well on the internet researching and finding information they need?  It is absolutely imperative that your young adult moving into the world be computer literate.  If not, I will say this one bluntly...you are not doing enough.  They need to have a typing speed that is reasonable so they can function well on their jobs.  Even auto mechanics have to input data to check engines!

6)  Does your young adult understand their body and how it functions? Do they "get" weather and motion/energy and cells at a basic level?  Are they considering a career that requires knowledge in specific areas of science?  Nursing...are the studying chemistry and biology?  Airline pilot...are they studying physics and weather?  Science is an area where we can get bogged down quickly and can "over teach" in my own opinion, because honestly, most of us will not have careers that require detailed knowledge of The Big Three areas of science, but they sure might require knowledge in one!  

There are of course other areas...life skills, health, arts, and much more.  But if you can look at your child and honestly say they can not read, write and compute well, you might want to pump up your school effort.  And by well I don't mean "ok" or middle school level by high school graduation.  Focus on doing the basics and doing them really, really well.  There are those fundamental skills that will be used by virtually everyone, and those should be rock solid.  

Should you teach to college admission for kids you think are Blue Collar bound?  Honestly, if they have the capacity, teach as much as they will take in!  Why limit learning?  That doesn't mean you have to feel pressure about it, nor do you have to do AP this and Honors that, but keep tackling progressively more challenging subjects!  Your Blue Collar kids may work in a trade for awhile and decide she or he wants to move into management and want to go back to school for a business degree.  You just never know, but the idea is to teach to the child, to develop a love of learning, and to help them be prepared for a future that is bright, regardless of the road they take.

Oh yea...and if you are doing two hours of school a day...uh...yea...probably not enough ;-)

Have you wondered how to introduce topics about social and emotional intelligence with your kids?  Do you wish you had a textbook that would cover things such as the pleasures and sorrows of work, the virtues of character, emotional identity, and the development of things like appreciation and detachment?  Basically, do you wish you had a resource that could help you teach all the non-academic things about life in a systematic and thoughtful way?

The School of Life is a difficult resource to summarize in just a few words, but from their web site, here is a description that might help:  The School of Life is a global organisation dedicated to developing emotional intelligence. We apply psychology, philosophy, and culture to everyday life. We address such issues as how to find fulfilling work, how to master the art of relationships, how to understand one's past, how to achieve calm, and how better to understand the world.  

What does that all mean?  

There is a heck of a lot more to learn than reading, writing, and 'rithmetic, and how we view the world and hope to help our children maneuver through relationships and experiences is probably more important than anything else we will do as parents.  Mostly, we do so with a "hit and miss" approach, speaking to circumstances as they arise in our lives, pointing to films and tv shows for examples of how NOT to be, using situations from our own work and play lives to explain our responses and the actions of others.  

What I am saying is, sometimes we need a framework or a model to explain the world, human interaction, and situations they will encounter as adults...we need to help them figure out how they should walk through the world, what to expect when they deal with others who act in unexpected ways, and how to be emotionally healthy.

That is where the School of Life web site comes in.  Linked there is an online "book" to read called "The Book of Life"  that covers numerous topics and is extremely well written.  One section of the Book of Life features an actual curriculum you could use.  There are numerous videos covering a wide variety of topics as well that could be used as jumping off points for conversation.  These resources are not for shallow work, but for deep discovery.  They are rich with content presented in a mature fashion, with little pandering to the "unthinking" mind...but they actually are quite accessible to high schoolers if one wants to work at thinking about life and not give in to intellectual laziness.  

Now, I want to point out here that this is a fully secular site, and some have even said it is "atheistic" due to its complete diversion from religion and reliance on philosophy.  The actual school is a real business that also holds secular style "sermons" on Sundays and has featured speakers such as Brene' Brown and Sir Ken Robinson.  If this disturbs you, then you might want to stay away from this resource altogether.

However, I am a Christian myself and I have still used these resources myself from time to time, along with many secular sources.  My personal feeling is that we parent educators need tools to lead us toward the conversations we wish to have with our kids, to remind us of the topics we really want to talk about...and perhaps to serve as a foil so we can present our own perspective and world view.  There often is nothing better than a counterpoint to get our brains moving in high gear in support of our own beliefs.  I personally found many topics of great value presented here that really did assist me in teaching emotional health, work dynamics, and much more.  There are topics of a more adult nature, and you would need to screen as your own values dictate, but there are hundreds of useful topics available to work with and I feel the value outweighs the need to screen.

Another point I would like to make is that for our wholly secular families, the Book of Life might be able to be used in lieu of the kind of training around issues that a church offers religious families.  Many times secular folks are searching for tools to use to teach values, emotional skills, and character, and they want to do so without a religious text or doctrine.  This might be exactly what you are looking for!

This resource is an unusual one, which is why I wanted to highlight it in a blog post.  I hope that it might help some families fill a gap in their social/emotional teachings.

Many people don't realize how valuable training in the arts can be for trades careers, and they elect not to include exposure to the arts in various forms in their homeschool curriculum for students who are destined for Blue Collar careers.  I would argue that there is GREAT value in being exposed to art in its various forms can be hugely helpful for any young person, whether they are destined for a professional career or a trade.

Let's take a look at a few of the skills that can be honed through the arts, and how they can play out in future careers:

1)  Creativity - Art is creative, it taps the other side of our brain, and it helps us think differently.  The 21st Century worker is going to be able to need to think creatively to problem solve, and to see the ways in which skills are transferable from one setting to another.  It doesn't matter if you are a factory worker in electronics who needs to think about wiring harnesses differently, a preschool teacher who needs to think about new ways to expose their students to the world at large, or if you are a landscaper who needs to deal with unusual hindrances in terms of climate, specific location, and plant type, creativity is needed in all kinds of jobs! 

2)  Design - Learning color, shape and form with drawing, painting, sculpting and more can help train the mind's eye to "see" what others may not.  Oh my goodness, the number of jobs this can be used in is almost countless!  Finish carpentry, interior decorating, tile setting, landscaping, graphic designing, web site designing, taxidermy, sheet metal working, quilting, and so much more!  And those are outside the arts themselves, which also don't require a degree! 

3)  Brain and Physical Flexibility -  Music and art both help create new pathways in the brain, wiring it differently.  It has been scientifically proven that music training can help increase memory and increases coordination.  Far too many Blue Collar jobs require physical coordination to even list here, but the hand eye coordination involved in learning a new instrument, training in dance, or other arts activities can help tremendously with movement.

4)  Teaches Discipline - I know, I know...the whole world revolves around sports, right?  Football, baseball, basketball, and other sports are the only way in which many people think kids can learn discipline or teamwork which is needed in just about any career, Blue Collar or otherwise.  Such a bias against the arts has existed for a very long time, but is uniquely prevalent here in the US.  Try being a member of a marching band and not be good at teamwork!  Try mastering any artistic technique and not learn discipline!  Try learning a new dance routine you have to learn over and over again and not learn BOTH teamwork and discipline!  Funny, but as I write this, I see a parallel between the cultural bias against the arts just as there is a cultural bias against trades...so sad that we limit ourselves this way!

5)  Public Speaking/Performance - Being involved in a drama class, or performing in front of a crowd in a symphony or during a piano recital teaches one to "take the heat" of being on display...now imagine that skill being transferred to presenting a job proposal for a large construction job, or being a fire rescue working who has to go from school to school to share about fire safety.  Again, there are a million ways we use the arts to learn skills that are put to use in our daily Blue Collar lives!

One final point I would add, though will not place on my list is that being well educated  matters regardless of white or blue collar futures.  Having cultural knowledge keeps us from being left out, from being not "in the know".  Every child ought to have a fundamental knowledge of how to read music, of how to blend colors, and should be able to recognize major works and styles of arts and artists, composers and styles of music...they ought to be able to name jazz when they hear it, name the Blues when they hear it, name various instruments when they hear them played.  That is simply part of being a well rounded human being with foundational knowledge.

I could go on and on, but I hope I have offered you a new way of thinking about the value of the arts in our Blue Collar Kids' lives!!

At Blue Collar Homeschool we want to help parents and young adults expand their thinking about career possibilities.  There are plenty of interesting, well paying careers that do not require a college degree, but do require training of some sort.  We will be interviewing professionals in many different trades and careers to share their perspective about their chosen path, and to enlighten others about jobs that may never have been considered.

Our very first "Career Spotlight" interview is with a special gentleman, the husband of one of our Facebook group members, John Slater.  John is a Luthier with Gibson Guitars, and he makes custom guitars.  We were so thankful to John for taking time out of his busy schedule to answer a few questions for us.  

BCH:  How did you get started making guitars?  Did you learn on the job?
 
John:  I started playing guitar when I was 13.  When I was 14, I took a screwdriver and disassembled as much of the guitar as I could.  It was a Fender Stratocaster copy, so it was mostly screws holding everything together.  It seemed really easy to put it back together once I did it.  It was really satisfying to see that I could do that.  My father had a workbench in the basement, so I had access to a variety of tools at an early age.
 
When I was 16, I bought a cheap imported guitar from a friend that had faulty electronics.  I ordered new parts from a catalog and rewired it.  I learned how to solder in Industrial Arts class in 8th grade, so I had some experience and a little confidence going into that.  My older brother (who worked on computers) gave me some tips to make the work go easier and look better.  Later that year, I took it apart and refinished it with a can of spray paint. 
 
There was one other guy at my high school that was doing the same sort of thing: buying cheap guitars and hot rodding them.  We got into trading parts and lending each other magazine articles on guitar repair and books on guitar building.  I would go in the back of the guitar magazines and send away for applications and catalogs for guitar building schools.  There was one book in my county’s library system on guitar building and repair, but it only dealt with acoustic guitars which require many special tools.  I wanted to work on electric guitars.
 
I wanted to go to a school to become a luthier after high school.  My parents persuaded me to go to a traditional college instead.  Throughout college I would continue to buy cheap and/or broken electric guitars and try to modify and repair them.
 
I eventually went to Bryan Galloup’s School of Guitar Building and Repair a few years after completing college.  In that 2 month course I built an electric and an acoustic guitar and learned all manner of repair and maintenance of guitars.  I applied to about half a dozen manufacturers in the US and was hired on to the Gibson Custom Shop 17 years ago.
 
BCH:  What kind of skills would someone need to get into this line of work?
 
John:  It’s not necessary to have completed a course in guitar building to start work in a guitar factory, but it was a big help for me.  It made training for specific tasks go quicker.  Knowledge of and experience using various hand tools (files, chisels, drills, etc.) is recommended.  In my experience, you can learn all you need to know to do your job while on the job. 
 
I had to learn the Gibson way of doing things, even though I’d been to school.  Even if you have experience working on guitars, applying those techniques in a mass production setting will be different. 
 
BCH:  What do you enjoy most about your job?
 
John:  I get to work on guitars everyday!  We’re a big iconic brand.  I work on guitars that I get to see in concerts, Super Bowl half time shows, the Grammys, in magazines, etc.  It can be pretty cool.
 
BCH:  Is a lot of your work by rote, or do you have opportunity to be creative?
 
John:  Most of the work has to be the same.  The guitars have to be consistent.  Challenging myself to find a more efficient technique or a better looking result can keep the creative juices flowing.
 
Every once in while there will be a custom order where the customer thinks up something we haven’t done before.  Like a wiring scheme for example.  I get to figure out whether we can do it or not.  You’d think there could be only so much you can do with a guitar’s wiring, but people come up with new stuff all the time. Technology advances and so do guitar gadgets.  We try to come up with ways of creating the widest variety of tones in the simplest way possible.
 
BCH:  Do you play guitar?  Other instruments?
 
John:  I’ve been playing guitar for over 30 years.  I play bass guitar in a rock band that plays on weekends.  One of my coworkers is in the band, too.  I’ve been slowly teaching myself to play drums over the last couple of years.  My sons are taking lessons in guitar, bass, drums, and vocals.  Before my parents bought me a guitar, I learned to play the piano, violin, and trumpet. 
 
BCH:  What did you think you wanted to do in high school?  
 
John:  I knew I wanted to do this since high school. My parents pushed going to college to have a more white collar job.  They weren’t going to pay for a trade school that they couldn’t see leading to a good career.  I also must not have made a persuasive enough argument at 18 years old to change their minds.  There weren’t very many places nearby to apply that trade, and I knew I wasn’t an entrepreneur.  Starting my own guitar making/repair business was not something I wanted to do.  So I went to college and got a BA in English and Theatre.  I am fortunate to have parents who were able to pay for college.
 
BCH:  Do you consider your work difficult?  Rewarding?
 
John:  Yes and yes. 
 
Difficult:  Lots of tasks require focus and concentration.  There can be many distractions.  If you’re not careful, a drill can go through a guitar instead of 1/4 of an inch.  A file can cut too much material.  You have to keep production pace and hit quotas while maintaining a high level of quality.
 
Rewarding:  The completed product.
 
BCH:  What advice would you give to someone who might be considering this for a career?
 
John:  If you have an electric guitar, take it apart and put it back together.  Get some experience working with tools.  You can buy guitar kits online.  Find videos and books about guitar building or repair.  Your public library and Youtube are great resources.  I wish I had Youtube when I was a teenager.   I used to buy VHS tapes from the Stewart McDonald catalog that showed how to do repairs.
 
Contact some luthierie schools.  Get the advice of the teachers or owners.  They have the benefit of seeing where their students have gone after their training.  They know the shops and factories and their reputations and hiring needs.
 
BCH:  What classes should they take in high school?
 
John:  Anything that gets you working with your hands.  Wood working or furniture making.  Do they have art and shop classes in school anymore?  Engineering.  

Luthiers craft all kinds of stringed instruments, not just guitars.  Violins, mandolins, banjos, and any other stringed instrument that is either plucked or "bowed" is crafted by a Luthier.  There are many schools you can train at for a career in this field and we will be featuring many of them on our web page here:  Trade and Technical Training - Visual and Performing Arts.

Thanks again to John Slater for helping us all learn more about his career!

A recent conversation on our Blue Collar Homeschool Facebook Group about introversion and social interaction had me thinking about all the concerns that people have about homeschooling, but particularly about the efficacy and outcomes of being educated at home, along with the worries about socialization.

I wonder, has anyone ever thought about it from a causation perspective, rather than a correlation perspective?  Do those who express doubts about children who are homeschooled ever take a moment to look at the variety of reasons that cause parents to make the decision to disenroll them from their local public school?  Do they evaluate the results of homeschooling on their own merits, rather than working hard to ignore certain key factors?

Many critics of homeschooling offer up  socialization issues as one of the biggest concerns they have.  How can a child be "properly socialized" when they are not around their peers regularly?  How do they learn to share, interact, and handle socially awkward situations?  How do they develop into more social creatures if not given the chance to practice those skills with their peers?

Those same critics often point to the naturally introverted child who happens to be quieter, and use that introversion as proof, completely disregarding the fact that what they are seeing is correlation, not causation, and that perhaps that child was just born that way!  For example, long before I ever considered the idea of home education, the first homeschooling family I ever met had eight children and had homeschooled since their first child started kindergarten.  By the time I got to know them, they were several years into their homeschooling journey and a few of their kids were teens. A friend at the time pointed out how very quiet each of the kids was, and how homeschooling was to blame for stunting their social maturation process.  What was completely disregarded in that assessment was that their mom and dad were both quieter, more contemplative types.  Homeschooled or not, these kids might have been predisposed to being more like their parents!  

Two of our kids, though not biologically related to us, are introverted and self-contained.  Neither has the need for as much social connection, though they are not hermits, and they are quite content with occasional opportunities to engage with others.  Like most introverts, for them socializing feels like work and a little goes a long way!  Our other three are social butterflies, and their needs are met in a variety of ways.  Did homeschooling "make"  our introverts that way?  Or did it allow them to be who they naturally were and not force them into a situation requiring them to don a false facade to please those around them?

In typical interactions with the world at large, homeschooled kids are often held to a far higher standard for academics than their public schooled counterparts.  When was the last time you witnessed a public schooled child being grilled and quizzed by strangers and acquaintances alike on what they know?  This happens with regularity to homeschoolers, and aside from the fact that this public "testing" is annoying and judgmental, it points to a certain bias that most "outsiders" have. Once again, correlation versus causation comes into play, though few would stop long enough to consider that to be true.  

Many parents elect to withdraw their kids from  local schools because those schools are ill equipped to meet the specific needs of their child.  This can be due to specific areas of giftedness, or due to learning disabilities that are not easily remediated in a typical classroom setting.  There are few surveys available that provide relevant data to back up this assertion, but one survey of 119 families indicated that 38% of homeschooled students present with learning disabilities, which is three times higher than the number of students in special education programs in public schools.  Now, has homeschooling caused the lower academic achievement, or is it merely a correlation?  According to this study, 61% of those children were already working below grade level prior to being pulled from school for an attempt at remediation at home.  That doesn't sound to me like causation, that homeschooling somehow fails to do an adequate job of educating learners.  Instead, it speaks directly to correlation, and that schools tried and failed, and parents stepped up to try and fill the gap. However, ask an "outsider" and they often try to disprove the strength of one-on-one education by pointing to this very issue, without giving any thought to whether it is correlation or causation, because their own inherent bias against homeschooling gets in the way of rational thinking.

I would like to point out that as homeschoolers, we also approach education with biases and fail to see correlation versus causation.  We blame the school setting for the attitudes and bad behavior of students, never taking into account the home life of the child...correlation versus causation.  Many a wonderful kid has emerged from public education, but we tend to turn a blind eye to that.  We blame low test scores on poor teachers, when in fact many children are deprived of being immersed in a language rich environment filled with experiences and books long before the school ever sees the child come through their doors. Studies reflect that many of those kinds of students never catch up.  Again, correlation, or causation?  None of us are immune to our own prejudices clouding our thinking.

There are many other examples on both sides.  Public education versus home-based education will likely always serve up a hot stew of contention.  However, rather than arguing the point, perhaps we can present the ideas behind causation and correlation to help those who question us think a little differently, and in turn, perhaps we can lend an ear to supportive arguments in favor of public education and consider them from a more thoughtful, rational place.  Discovering where our own blind spots are relating to the discernment of correlation and causation helps us become better thinkers, and more astute evaluators of all kinds of situations.  When we can more concisely express our own opinions,  we might change minds...perhaps even our own.​

Recently, the kids had an assignment to think about various "models" in life, and how they impact us. We discussed models for parenting, for being a good employee, for marriage and more.  How does one find good models?  How do we shape our lives and create our own models for living?

For many, the models they create come from strong examples before them from their own parents, grandparents, family friends, and teachers.  Sometimes our faith presents healthy models for us to follow.  Fictional characters in books and film can present us with strong role models.  Then there is our own research and learning which help us build models that we incorporate into our lives based on facts and data.

What about homeschooling?  Have you created a model for what you want your homeschooling to look like?  Is there a homeschooling blogger you admire and whose style really works for you? I presented this as an essay question to our kids, and asked them to describe our homeschooling model.  I wondered what they would come up with. They all shared their models and they were all different takes on what we do here every day, but our daughter, Olesya, surprised me by taking it beyond "What is our model" to "who is our model".  Below is an example of how a learner perceives their family's model of homeschooling:

Who's Our Model

Homeschooling is a fairly new idea in our modern world, though kids have been educated at home throughout our history. Our family's model has taught us to educate  both the brain and the heart. Homeschooling allows us to learn not only about the fundamental academic principles, but also ourselves and our hearts. Homeschooling intertwines academic knowledge, and knowledge of being good and respectful in the world, which educates the heart and the mind simultaneously. Our model teaches  us “how to think, and not what to think.” Our model is the one who says that memorizing for a test is not education, but pulling apart sentences, stopping at and defining the words you don't know, and working with the information till you understand it, is.     

We are taught to love learning, and learn beyond the required years of schooling. Our model is the one that tells us that education doesn't always happen in the pages of traditional textbooks, but instead learning also happens when you go out and apply the information; go out and see the arts, the culture, and the history. Our model tells me  that if you are interested in something, don't wait to be taught it, instead pick up a book and teach it to yourself. Our model is the  one who sits next to us day after day, follows each word when we read,  asks us questions that are not page fillers, listens to our opinions, doesn't blow off our questions that we may have, and besides spending hours teaching us, spend many more researching the right curriculum. My model doesn't accept “I don't know” as an answer because that is not how our education works. My model is my mom.  

What an important reminder to me, that while I may look outside for my homeschooling model, my kids will always, always be looking inside for their model.  I need to never forget that my own love of learning, my own curiosity, and my own engagement with materials is being watched, every moment, and new models are being created based on that observation.  

Thinking about that is actually pretty daunting, isn't it?

​One of the hardest things to give up is our dreams for the future of our children.  When we homeschool, that becomes even harder as we moms, as educators, can fall into the trap of thinking the achievements of our children prove that we made the right decision and that we are successful at our "jobs".  If we are not careful, we can tie ourselves firmly onto the coat tails of our kids, riding them along the wave of Big Name College and Impressive Career, thinking that somehow demonstrates our own personal worth to the world.

Oh, Ego, how we need to learn to tame thee!!

Our culture celebrates the most asinine things, doesn't it?  We are taught to push our kids to excel to the point that we actually feel the need to brag about when our kids potty trained!  Goodness!  Is that really "braggable"?  And yet we have all been in conversations where that kind of "achievement" is lifted up as proof of...well...I don't really know.  Intellect?  Physical prowess?  Maturity?

Hey, I get it though.  After all, we leave behind jobs and careers to teach our children full-time.  Those who take it seriously view it as a job that needs to be done to the best of their ability.  That isn't a bad thing, anything we put our heart and soul into we want to be successful at!  We care very much about doing a good job!  The fact that much is at stake with homeschooling puts more pressure on us to do more, be more, and achieve more.

But perhaps when things start getting out of control and we find ourselves feeling like failures because our kids don't offer us enough fodder to throw out in conversations with other moms or on Facebook groups about their accomplishments, it might be helpful to take a page out of Simon Sinek's book and start with the question, "Why?".

Why did you decide to homeschool?  Did you look at that little Kindergartner and say to yourself, "I am going to teach you so well you get into the Ivy League!"  Did you say, "I am going to make sure you are reading at college level by 9 years old!"?  Did you imagine National Honor Society in their future based upon your skillful teaching?

Chances are, those would not have been first and foremost on your mind when you decided you would buck the system and educate your child at home.   Maybe your "Why?" was more along the lines of:

"We enjoy learning together, why stop!"

"I want them to be able to freer to learn at their own pace."

"I don't want the system to parent my kids, I want to do that!"

"They love drama/math/reading/playing with cars and I think I can teach them by incorporating their loves!"

"I want them to explore the world more fully, and we can offer that opportunity better at home."

"They have learning challenges, and I think one on one will help them best."

and probably everyone would say:

"I want them to grow up to be a person with strong morals and good character, and I am not sure that the public education setting will help accomplish that."

Maybe you had other reasons that are not reflected above.  When we step back and think about why we started homeschooling, there are very few who would respond that they did so in order to prove they were a better parent, or that their kid was smarter.  

We get caught up in what the culture elevates.  It is hard not to.  We all want to feel accomplished, to be noticed, to prove that we could actually do this crazy thing.  

But that is not "why" we do it.

We do it because we love our kids more than life itself, because we have ideas about education that conflict with what they will find in public school.  We do it because we want more time with our kids and for family.

We should never, ever do it for Bragging Rights, and in just about every case, we never start there.

But there is motivational drift, isn't there?

If you ever find yourself caught up in this, if in the wee hours of the morning you begin to feel insecure, ineffective, or unsuccessful, I urge you to take a few minutes and write down your original "why", and your current "why".  Then, write another list of all the ways you have lived into your "why"...you know, the less than noteworthy but still super important things that you have indeed succeeded at.  Then, sit back and read it.  

Read it again.

See all the amazing things you have accomplished in educating your child, see all that they are becoming AND overcoming.  Remind yourself that your child is unique and doesn't have to be like anyone else, that their path in life is their own and it is your job to guide them toward it, not shove them in the direction you want for them, or the direction that "everyone else's kid" is taking.

Take a deep breath.  

You are doing all right, Mom.  You really are.  Sure, sometimes we get blown off course a bit, we all have that happen from time to time.  But your "why" is the reminder of what really matters.  Don't lose sight of it, don't let ego keep you from finding joy in it.  Pin it on the fridge, make your "why" your touchstone.  Join groups that reinforce the validity of different directions in the world, that celebrate the small successes with you, that remind you that your "why" is the thing to hold on to.

​And most importantly, look in the mirror and see someone who also matters, who is wise and wonderful, who cares deeply and works hard.  She is NEVER unsuccessful as long as she continues to act lovingly and actively, and remembers her "why".

How does your Blue Collar learner gain job experience and valuable references for future positions? It isn't as easy today as it used to be for teens to find employment during their high school years.  When most of us were our kids ages, jobs were plentiful at fast food restaurants, grocery stores, and many other retailers.  Many of us worked after school at places where now middle aged adults are found behind the counter.  In 1993, 30.5% of students enrolled in high school were employed versus today when 18.2% of students have after school or summer jobs. (See here for data)   That is a staggering drop, and means that not quite 1/5th of our high school students have any work experience prior to graduation.

So how do we fill that experience gap?  ​

​Volunteering is a wonderful way!!

Our kids have volunteered in a wide variety of roles, including working at the local food bank, animal shelter, library, homeless shelter, and nursing home.  Let me share with you some of the benefits our kids have gained from volunteer work:

1)  They have to take direction from an Adult Supervisor other than mom :-)  They learn they can not negotiate to get out of something they'd prefer not to do, they must do a job to the satisfaction of the Supervisor, and they will often be helpfully critiqued by a Supervisor.  Many homeschoolers have a great amount of flexibility at home, which is one of the beauties of homeschooling, but that flexibility is not always found on a job.  Learning this concretely can be helpful!  Also, when we are young it can be HARD to take criticism from someone in authority (Heck, it is hard as an adult!).  This can help strengthen our kids to accept and learn to hear a helpful critique of the quality of their work from an outsider.

2)  Being around a variety of people helps broaden their worldview.  Volunteer work sites usually expose kids to young, old and everything in between!  There are seniors who want the structure of having someplace to go, folks who have been court mandated to be there, and the disabled for whom volunteering is part of their daily program.  Interacting regularly in  a safe setting with such a wide range of personalities and life experiences does far more to help your child grasp "real life" than any book or film can do.

3)  There is something special that comes from working alongside adults and keeping up with them!  A sense of accomplishment is gained from doing the same tasks as adults do, and it goes a long way toward encouraging more mature behavior.  Add in compliments from those outside the family for a job well done, and you have a recipe for developing a strong sense of self-worth  .

4)  Real business skills are learned "on the job" that can translate well to the world of work!  Volunteer organizations offer the chance to learn things such as inventory management, safe food handling and product rotation, and secretarial tasks such as multi-line phones, accounting, and data entry.  Time management, project planning, and more are all practiced on volunteer jobs.  Our kids have learned all of the above on their various volunteer sites, as well as career specific skills such as library science and animal husbandry.

5)  Volunteering allows a youth to "try on" a career to see if it "fits"!  There is nothing worse than spending money to learn a trade or gain a certification, only to be hired and within a week on the job realize you absolutely hate it.  Offering services free of charge often helps a learner gain entry to a setting to test the waters, and learn more before making an educational and financial commitment to a particular career.

6)  In many settings, volunteering can be a very humbling experience.  Handing food to those who don't have enough to make it through the week, sitting down to a meal at a table full of homeless men and women, or holding hands bedside with an elderly person who is desperately lonely can all bring new awarenesses and a sense of gratitude to a teen who can often be caught up in their own little world.  Humility is not something that many of us think about developing in our child, and yet it is a quality most of us wish more people in the world had today.  Volunteering can bring us new understandings about those less fortunate, and help keep us from demonizing them or putting them all in one category in our minds.  

7)  The web site HelpGuide.org offers this as food for thought:  Volunteering offers vital help to people in need, worthwhile causes, and the community, but the benefits can be even greater for you, the volunteer. Volunteering and helping others can help you reduce stress, combat depression, keep you mentally stimulated, and provide a sense of purpose. In other words, we feel better when we help others.  Teaching your kids the ways in which reaching out to those around them can also change THEIR lives for the better is important!

8)  Though I prefer better motives for volunteering than this last item, I recognize the truth to it and will name it because it is still a benefit...but I would encourage you to consider adding volunteering for other, less self-centered reasons.  Steady volunteer work with one or two organizations for a long period of time can be a terrific addition to a college application or as a job reference for those first forays into employment.  A volunteer supervisor can attest to a young person's diligence, responsible behavior, and skill level in certain tasks.  In other words, they can offer the next best thing to a job reference when someone doesn't yet have prior employment.  

I could probably name many more benefits to be gained from volunteer work, but I hope the above offers you something to chew on, and maybe you will think of other benefits on your own!

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